Talking About the Future is Taboo

In the second phone call, before meeting, he talks about the future.  SCARY.

Why does this feel uncomfortable? 

Because it's manipulative and women don't like to feel manipulated. Or men, for that matter.  If you're gonna manipulate, make it invisible.

Because he's living in a fantasy, a hypothetical of sorts.  We hadn't even met yet and he's already talking about an exclusive relationship.  "Say, for example, you and I hit it off and become boyfriend/girlfriend..."

"Slow down my friend," I said playfully.

And I never saw him.  He actually stood me up for a dinner date that he insisted on having. Was even willing to drive an hour to see me. Loved that.

But I didn't love some other things about our two very long conversations. 

So here's the takeaway,  listen for dialogue.  If he's monologuing and not politely asking questions about you, your likes and passions, it's all about him and it'll likely always will be all about him.  That's not to say that impressing someone doesn't require peacocking to show off what you have to bring to the table, but it has to be balanced with her stuff as well. 

And gentleman, it's not polite to ask a woman why she's still single.  Do I go around and ask why someone's still married?  Heaven's no.  If you're talking to her over the phone, it's because you're interested. Be grateful that you caught her in between boyfriends.



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